Optimism lands on George Kittle being ready to go for Week 1 of the 2026 season as he recovers from an Achilles tear.
Slowed as he might be by injury, Kittle wasn't slowed from coming to the rescue of his wife Claire recently when she was in peril from an unwelcome arachnid.
Per the seven-time Pro Bowl tight end's own accord, he sprang to life in the wee hours of the morning after he was beckoned by his better half when a spider of overwhelming proportions had invaded their restroom.
George, a knight without armor, shrugged off his ailment to save Claire.
"At 4 am this morning, as I laid in a deep slumber, I was called to action by my wife who had discovered a spider the size of a half dollar in the bathroom," Kittle . "Without hesitation I arose to combat the intruder. Claire handed me the slant board I've been using for rehab, and I immediately knew the spider had no chance. It took but 1 attempt to strike down my opponent. I received hugs and kisses for my bravery and fell back asleep with confidence. Have a day gentlemen."
Though Kittle thankfully emerged from the fracas with no damage to his already ailing Achilles, he did draw the notice of PETA, the biggest animal rights organization on the globe.
PETA argued that "spiders deserve a good day too," and that it was sending a humane bug catcher Kittle's way.
With these battles now seemingly behind the All-Pro, he can return his concentration to healing up and tackling the upcoming season. If nothing else, the 49ers standout showed that gentlemanly valor still exists.
Indeed, chivalry is not dead, but that spider is.
